Perfection? Or excellence.

Being a photographer can be scary. Actually, attaching the word "photographer" to myself is even scary. Usually, when someone asks what I do, I humbly reply "I'm a graphic designer and I do photography." I do photography? What does that even mean? I'm not totally sure, but it doesn't sound quite as scary as "photographer."

The other day I came across a quote by Ira Glass, the famous host of the radio program This American Life. Although I haven't listened to that broadcast more than one time, I know that Glass has had tremendous success and is well known as an epic storyteller. Something he said in a series of talks about how to be a good storyteller really resonated with me from a photography standpoint.

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through. -Ira Glass

You see, I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect. I know my potential but I don't feel close to meeting it yet. I look around and see so many people who are better photographers. I see all the equipment I would like to have but can't afford. I see the mistakes I've made and the things I would like to learn. My husband and I were talking the other day about a principle that has challenged me. That is simply this: reach for excellence, not perfection. Perfection will never be attainable. Excellence, however, is always within grasp. Excellence means doing my best with what I have. I take the equipment I have, the time I have, the training I have, the experience I have, and the knowledge I have and I use them to create something I can be proud of. Because excellence is attainable, I have no excuses for letting fear hold me back.

Ever since I took my initial photography class, there has been one thing that has scared me in the realm of photography: light. Isn't that funny? Something as simple as light can be so scary. Any photographer knows the lighting in a photograph has the potential to make it either horrible, mediocre, or incredible. It can make or break a photo. For that reason, for a long time I tried to play it safe when it came to light. But then something happened that challenged that fear.

In the past year since delving into photography, I have been hired to do somewhere between 20-25 photo shoots. These have ranged from birthday parties, weddings, family photos at a retirement home, real estate photos, and just general portraits. I've enjoyed most of these experiences, but discovered that one of my very favorite things is photographing babies. I'm not sure why, but it is. But here's the thing with babies: you can't take them outside for an hour in the heat of summer or the cold of winter to do an outdoor photo shoot. The natural remedy to this predicament is to do photos indoors. But indoors typically means bad lighting. That means light must be added. Flash photography is something some photographers avoid at all costs. Natural light purists want nothing to do with it. Now don't get me wrong: some amazing things can be accomplished with natural light. I know photographers who won't use anything else and they product amazing work. But there is a difference between avoiding strobes because you don't like the style, and avoiding them because you are afraid of them. My hesitance, I have to admit, was because of the latter.

But rather than allowing that fear to get me down, I plunged in headfirst to explore the realm of Strobist beauty. And I'm glad I did because I have found that I actually LOVE lighting with strobes and get extremely excited over the potential I see. The possibilities are endless and practicing is fun.

David Hobby, the founder of the popular Strobist movement, said something on his blog that hit me like a freight train when I read it. He said:

...light is a tool. You have to know how to use it and how to make it when you need to. So do not fall for the "putting-yourself-on-the-available-light-pedestal" excuse. You can always choose to use available light when you know how to use flash.

Heck, it is always available.

So drop the excuse and learn your craft.

Photography may always be scary to me. I may always get nervous before a photo shoot. It may take me years to comfortably refer to myself as a photographer. But the best successes often start from humble beginnings. And there's no shame in that.

So this is a new year...

I haven't blogged in a long time because I haven't had time. A month and a half ago, I made the decision to leave my place of employment, and ever since then things have been a whirlwind. I'm launching my freelance graphic design and photography business. With the promise of one regular client and some photo shoots booked in 2011, I'm off on my own to devote my time to doing what I am passionate about doing. I am excited, nervous, and hopeful. I'm also exhausted.

It's almost 1:00am and I say I'm exhausted. I guess I should go to sleep. But I'm home alone while J.C. is out of town finishing up a week-long production job. It's rainy, I'm sick, and I need to be sleeping, but I can't.

Facebook suggested that I look through some old photos tonight, so I did. I was reminded of what a crazy year 2010 has been. Obviously, committing to another person for the rest of my life made it an epic year. But  the eight months that I have been married have brought things that I never would have expected. The marriage part has been great, but other things have been difficult. We were prepared for trials to come, and by God's grace we have allowed them to draw us closer together. To say that this year has been marked with incredible happiness and incredible pain would barely be scratching the surface on describing our year.

I hate to admit it, but I dreaded Christmas this year. Circumstances weren't what I wanted them to be. Because of things beyond our control, Christmas wasn't what I had hoped for. We didn't go to a single Christmas party. We didn't have time to snuggle down watch Christmas movies. For some reason, our real live Christmas tree did NOT fill the house with that evergreen smell, and neither did the pine scented candles I got at Wal-Mart. The gluten-allergy monster reared its ugly head at me during Christmas just as it always does at holidays, and for the first time in a very long time I cried simply because I couldn't eat anything at potluck dinners. I really mean it: I dreaded Christmas.

And then somehow, when Christmas arrived, my attitude started changing little by little. It made my day to see my husband's eyes light up and him smile like a little boy when he opened up the boxed set of the original G.I. Joe cartoons that I got him. My heart swelled with wonder when I heard Linus tell the Christmas story when my family gathered to watch Charlie Brown like we do every Christmas Eve before opening presents. I giggled at my nephew's excitement as he bounced around the house all day excited to open his presents. I created beautiful gluten-free cookie snowflakes that would make Martha Stewart jealous. And after it was over I looked back and realized how blessed I was.

The same goes for the year 2010 in general. A sad year? Yes. Frustrating? Yes. Stressful? Yes. Tiring? Very. But I married the most wonderful man in the world this year. And every day he makes me happy and gains even more of my respect. He gives me hope, strength, and courage and loves me no matter what. That is a picture to me of an even greater Love. One I can always count on and that will never leave or forsake me. One that was with me in 2010 just as it has for me every year since 1982 and will be in the uncertainties of 2011. As I set out into a new year, I pray that I will follow and lean on Him for strength, and that I will never loose sight of His blessings.

Lindsey's Photoshoot

Turning 30 is Sweet!

That's the theme of my friend Lindsey's 30th birthday. Since she is turning 30, she decided to do something fun for herself and have a fun photo shoot. We met on Sunday afternoon to get some shots. She wanted a vintage look to the photos. There were a lot of fun ones, but time doesn't allow me to post them quite yet. For now, here's a teaser!

Advanced Photography Class - Previsualization

Last Wednesday I began the advanced (probably more like intermediate) photography class. Our lesson was on previsualization. Our project for the week was to previsualize a photo, take it according to the steps laid out in this article by Ron Bigelow, and then send it in explaining our steps. I took a lot of photos I liked over the weekend, and a lot of them previsualized and technically better photographs, but I decided to send in the one that stirred me the most.

EMOTION

This year over 1400 runners registered to participate in the Soaring Wings Ranch Half Marathon. The proceeds from the marathon benefit abused, neglected, and abandoned children in the state of Arkansas who reside at Soaring Wings Ranch. As the marathon participants run their course, the children of the Ranch line up by the finish line to prepare to pass out medals. When runners come over the finish line, the children excitedly hand them a finisher's medal and shout out words of encouragement and thankfulness. It was the feeling during this moment that I wanted to capture. Many of the runners participate strictly because of the cause. The children enjoy cheering them on and runners are touched by the greeting they receive from these happy children at the finish line.

APPEARANCE OF THE FINAL IMAGE

I am actually on staff at Soaring Wings Ranch. I am their graphic designer and in charge of publications for the Ranch. I wanted to capture a photo that could be published for our newsletter. However, there are state regulations on publishing photos of children in DHS care (for the protection of the children). With those goals in mind, I knew I had to capture a scene that did not include a child's full face. Image quality just needed to be good enough to produce a small print for publication. I visualized an image that showed part of a child's face and an extended arm handing a medal to a runner.

EDITING

I shot in RAW since I was having to quickly take photos while shooting in manual mode. I was unsure whether or not I would be able to expose everything perfectly and have everything as sharp as I wanted so I wanted the comfort of that flexibility (BUT I still tried very hard to get everything correct initially in the shot).  Out of camera, the photo was a tad underexposed and I also needed to sharpen the hands up a bit and up the contrast levels, but editing was minimal.

METHODS OF SHOOTING

Lens: I chose a long lens to capture the scene from a distance and minimize my depth of field even further to blur out the busy backgrounds at the race.

Position: I squatted and positioned myself, focusing on the hand of one of the children and waiting for the opportunity to arise to snap the photo. I was excited when I got this shot of a runner stopping to hi-five one of our kids and take time to speak with him personally after receiving his medal. 

ISO: I chose a medium ISO that gave me maximum flexibility for fast changes of exposure.

Aperture: I chose f/7 so I could minimize depth of field and yet still insure that I kept the subject in focus if he moved slightly.

Shutter speed: I made sure my shutter speed was quick enough to keep up with the movement going on in the scene.

Multiple shots: I set my camera on continuous shooting mode so I could shoot bursts and capture the photo at exactly the best moment.

State Fair

There is something those in the production business call FILO. It refers to First In; Last Out. I married into FILO. I experienced it while dating, but nowhere near the extent I experience it now. My husband is very good at what he does. Not only that, but he loves it. I enjoy watching him enjoy it, and in many ways, I enjoy being involved in it, as well.

Can I just say, though, that after a couple weeks of watching him have to get up early, come home after midnight every night, skip meals, and deal with the frustrations involved with production (not to mention us struggling to find time to talk or spend time together!), I am glad to see the state fair come to an end. 

I made an appearance several different days at the fair. I remember I used to love that old movie State Fair, where they sang about how great the fair was, romance was kindled in the Tunnel of Love, Blue Boy won a blue ribbon, and the judges happily smacked on mincemeat that had been spiked. I don't know if the State Fair was really like that in the 40's, but now it's a bit different. Mostly to me, it is full of tackiness and germs and nasty smells rather than good 'ole American charm. But still there is a little fun to be found in the bright colors, the eccentric carnival workers, the delighted look on children's faces, and the classic rides like the carousel horses and ferris wheel. 

I can't eat them anymore since this whole gluten-free way of life that's held me captive the last year and a half, but once upon a time I did eat the turkey legs...and they were good.

I loved the bright colors of the slushee machine.

And finally, the real reason I visited the fair: the production for the main stage is awesome! ;) 

Honestly I don't care for most of the music (although the sound guy is really good!), but I do enjoy hearing Luke Williams. I've gotten to hear him and meet him quite a few times since he's usually at the State Fair and the White County Fair. He's a nice kid, and very talented.

Easton Corbin also did a concert one night. My husband has somewhat trained me to try to get some of the rig in pictures. Hah. I actually got to run that lighting rig one night. It was sort of fun. Something tells me that won't be my last time as LD.

There's another term thrown around in the production business: GAK. Gak is all that stage stuff...all the road cases and cables and other things that you find backstage. There is also a term used in photography: The Magic Hour...that beautiful time at the end of the day before sunset that provides lovely lighting for pictures—in this case—backstage with the gak. (My good friend Beth is sweet to go and hang out with me every year...although she says that we're just her backstage ticket.)

(By the way, I was surprised and excited to get two photography ribbons this year. A 3rd place color scenic ribbon, and a 1st place black and white portrait ribbon.)

Photo challenge: Reflections

Learning to Ride

My nephew Aidan is learning how to ride a bike! He's so excited.